Answer key · not for pupils Writer's craft sequence
The Spoon Shook
Show, don't tell
Lesson 12 of 12 Year 6
Task 1 gives the letter of the right option as printed on the sheet. Task 2 lists the mistakes in the order they appear, with the correction. Task 3 and 4 answers are models, not the only acceptable wording: any answer that uses the rule the lesson taught should be credited.
MildTelling names the feeling: Pip was sad. Showing gives a clue: Pip's lip wobbled. Tick the clue!
1 · Tick the one that shows
a Ab Bc Ad BA = left option, B = right option
3 · Now you write
Model answers
Mia grinned and giggled.
Bruno's teeth chattered and he shivered.
Nonna frowned and stamped her foot.
4 · Help Polpetta
My spoon clattered to the floor and I stared at the burnt sauce. (Shows sad without naming it.)
2 · Find the 3 that tell
1
Pepe was hungry.
Pepe licked his lips.
2
Then Polpetta was cross.
Then Polpetta frowned and banged the pot.
3
Pepe was embarrassed.
Pepe stared at his shoes.
Rumbled, sniffed, clattered and pink cheeks already show (the decoys). Any clue that fits the feeling is acceptable.
MediumShow a feeling with clues: what a character does, says or notices. Let the reader work it out.
1 · Tick the one that shows
a Bb Ac Bd AA = left option, B = right option
3 · Now you write
Model answers
Tick: Mia froze., Her heart thumped. · Mia froze. Her heart thumped.
Tick: A fire crackled in the corner., The smell of warm bread filled the room. · A fire crackled in the corner. The smell of warm bread filled the room.
Tick: Marco sighed for the tenth time., Marco stared at the clock. · Marco sighed for the tenth time. Marco stared at the clock.
4 · Help Polpetta
It only names the feelings, so the reader just gets a list. Better: I sang as I stirred the sauce. Then I saw it was burnt, and my smile slid away.
2 · Find the 3 that tell
1
Polpetta was worried.
Polpetta checked the clock again and again.
2
Gino was nervous.
Gino's knees trembled.
3
Everyone was happy.
Everyone laughed and asked for more.
The roaring ovens, the dropped spoons, the chatter and Nonna's smile already show (the decoys).
SpicyShow with actions, speech, the senses and the setting. Show the moments that matter.
1 · Tick the one that shows
a Ab Bc Bd AA = left option, B = right option
3 · Now you write
Model answers
Every time Pearl's sister won a prize, Pearl's smile went tight and she went very quiet.
Grey drizzle seeped through my coat and the air smelt of damp leaves.
Telling is better for quick moments that keep the story moving, such as: Later, they walked home.
4 · Help Polpetta
It only names the feelings, so the reader is told instead of feeling them. Example: I hummed as I rolled the dough. Then black smoke poured from the oven. My smile slid away. I glared at the oven and slammed it shut.
2 · Find the 4 that tell
1
I was scared.
I couldn't stop shaking.
2
Inside, it was dark and spooky.
Inside, cobwebs brushed my face and I couldn't see a thing.
3
Marco was brave.
Marco took a deep breath and stepped in first.
4
We were terrified.
We froze, and neither of us dared to breathe.
Howled, lashed, groaned, dripped, thumping and flickered already show (the decoys).